Food, friends and romance: A recipe for finding love

Photo courtesy of Jack Lamarre

(written for the Los Altos Town Crier)

They’re questions for the ages: Where is my soulmate? What’s taking them long to find me? 

Stories of Cupid’s mischief would have us believe that love happens randomly, with the help of a sly cherub. The mythology of this Roman god or his Greek predecessor, Eros, is all the evidence needed to see that we’ve been trying to unscramble the process of falling in love for all of history. 

This, I believe, should come as some reassurance for singles. You’re not the first, and won’t be the last, to journey on this perplexing path of partner finding. 

Sure, nowadays there’s an app for that. And I have plenty of friends who have met their loves using these tools. But there is something to be said for the old-fashioned ways, too. You know, getting out there. Joining groups. Being brave enough to strike up a conversation with that neighbor you keep passing in your building’s foyer. Saying yes when friends invite you out on a Saturday night when all you really want to do is stay in and binge “The Pitt.” Letting trusted people in your life fix you up. 

Let’s not forget that Cupid was as likely to cast a silver-tipped arrow as a gold one – resulting in two potential partners rejecting one another. Which is all to say that rejection is part of the deal when it comes to looking for love. When things don’t work, it can most certainly hurt. But if we are gentle and loving with ourselves, perhaps refusals can invite growth, too. 

Research tells us that part of matchmaking is learning more about ourselves. We do this by cultivating deep appreciation for the abundant gifts we each have to share. Finding love might be somewhat akin to catching a butterfly – casting the widest, most patient and gentlest net you can is best. 

Joining groups that align with your interests is great way to make more friends, romantic or otherwise. Locally there’s the Sierra Club Loma Prieta Singles which coordinates hikes for members based on age ranges. SJMA Young Professionals (San José Museum of Art) is for art-loving singles. For a faith-based program, check out St. Simon Parish’s Young Adults group, with bi-monthly meet-ups and social gatherings. Or stay connected to the Oshman Family JCC in Palo Alto for singles-specific events and activities. 

 

Dinner party plan

 

It will come as no surprise that I advocate for getting to know yourself and others around food-focused social gatherings. Getting together in a kitchen, prepping dinner and sharing a meal as a group means more mingling, more mixing and memory making. 

If you have a space to host, regardless of how small, start a supper club. Kick off the club with a pasta and people potluck. Like all potlucks, guests bring a dish to share, but they also bring a person for all to meet. You make the sauce, invite four friends, ask each to bring a guest along with a contribution to the meal: a box of pasta, a loaf of bread, salad, dessert drinks, etc. At the end of the meal, decide where the next party will take place. 

Bolognese sauce 

This is enough sauce to serve eight. Years ago, while housesitting for friends in Marin, I hosted a dinner party. Too cheap to purchase the magazine, I perused it at the market and then went home and loosely recreated this bolognese sauce. It has become a favorite because it feeds a crowd and fills the house with welcoming aromas. 

Ingredients 

• 2 large cans (28 oz.) crushed tomatoes 
• 1 can (15 oz.) tomato sauce
• 1 large yellow onion, diced 
• 3 garlic cloves, minced 
• 12 oz. shitake mushrooms, cleaned, stems removed, sliced 
• 1/4 cup finely chopped fresh sage (that’s 12–15 large leaves) 
• 2 lbs. ground meat. I like to use 1 lb. ground pork and 1 lb. of ground chicken
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt, plus more to taste
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes (a good pinch; adjust to taste)
• 1 bay leaf
• 2 tablespoons olive oil (for sautéing)
• Parmesan cheese for serving 

Heat olive oil in a large, heavy pot over medium heat. When oil shimmers, add the onion and cook until soft and translucent, about 6-8 minutes. Stir in garlic and cook 30 seconds. Add ground pork and chicken; cook until browned – taking your time to break up the meet well. Stir in sage, salt, black pepper and red pepper flakes. Add crushed tomatoes, tomato sauce and bay leaf. Bring to a gentle simmer, then lower heat and cook for 60-90 minutes, stirring occasionally, until rich and thick. Remove bay leaf, taste and adjust seasoning. 

The Big Salad 

I call this The Big Salad, but it could also be titled the simple salad or comes together fast salad. It feeds a crowd and gets even the most inexperienced guests involved in the meal prep. 

Ingredients

• Two heads romaine lettuce, washed, dried and chopped
• 2 Pink Lady or Honeycrisp apples, diced
• 1 14 oz. can garbanzo beans
• 1 14 oz. can artichoke hearts, roughly chopped
• Handful of candied pecans, roughly chopped

Dressing

• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
• 2 teaspoon honey
• 1 medium shallot, finely diced
• Salt and black pepper to taste

In a large bowl mix salad dressing. Add all ingredients on top of prepared dressing and toss just before service. Taste for seasoning and add more salt and pepper as needed. 

Meyer lemon polenta olive oil cake

This cake is outrageously moist and travels well. Because it is rather dense, small slices satisfy, making it a great potluck dessert. 

Ingredients

• 2/3 cup olive oil, plus more for greasing the pan
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 cups almond meal
• 3/4 cup polenta 
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 3 large eggs
• Zest of 2 Meyer lemons (squeeze the juice and set it aside to make a syrup)
• 1 pint fresh raspberries, washed and dried (for serving)

Meyer lemon syrup

• Reserved lemon juice
• 1 cup powered sugar

Grease and line with parchment paper a 9-inch springform cake pan. Preheat the oven to 350°F. Beat the olive oil and sugar till pale and whipped – this can be done by hand using a wooden spoon or in a mixer.

In a separate bowl, mix together the almond flower, polenta and baking powder. Add the dry mix to the sugar and olive oil mixture in batches. After each batch of the dry ingredients, add an egg and mix to incorporate. When all dry ingredients and eggs are mixed in, add the lemon zest and mix one more time. 

The batter will be thick. Using a spatula, add the batter to the prepared springform pan. Bake for 40 minutes. The cake may look a bit loose when baked, but a toothpick will come out clean and the edges should be pulling away from the sides of the pan. 

While the cake is cooling, make the syrup by bringing the lemon juice and powered sugar to a boil in a small pot. Do not remove the cake from the pan – you’ll want it in the pan while you pour the syrup over. Using the toothpick, poke a series of holes evenly around the cake. Pour the syrup all over and allow the cake to cool completely in the pan. 

You can transport the cake in the pan if you’d like, but before serving, remove

from the springform pan and top with raspberries. Serve with additional raspberries on the side.